TORN BETWEEN TWO LOVES

Oh geez. I'm taking very deep breaths very frequently these days. There's a huge change coming, one that I'm madly excited about ~~ my brand new, never-been-done-before adventure is barely four weeks away! That's when I'll lock up my little travel-trailer-home and spend the next six months traveling the southwest with my oldest daughter in her brand new motorhome. We have BIG plans. We're going to the Hot Air Balloon Festival in New Mexico. We're going go up in one of those balloon contraptions and see our world from a whole new perspective (actually the entire trip will be seeing from a new perspective).

The issue that I'm dealing with is this: my plans, exciting and amazing as they are for me, means I must leave my "garden post" six weeks early. Which, in turn, means there are important garden chores to be delegated.

I'm not a good delegator. To me, delegating is transferring a responsibility to someone else, when I should be doing it myself. Oh, wait a minute: isn't delegation a big plus, don't effective managers do it all the time, so what's my big deal? Maybe, just maybe, I have a fear that the job won't be done as well as I could do it.

Oops. That kind of thinking is really out of sync with my professed belief system, a belief that everything works out the way it's supposed to, a belief that trusts Life, a belief in having a positive mindset.

No WONDER I feel torn! Get over it, Jeanne, and get on with your adventure! The garden gods will take care of the tasks, and you'll return in March to see the job was done even better than you would have done it. Let go, lady, turn loose, and stop all that deep breathing before you hyperventilate. Silly, silly lady.

THE SOUL GARDEN

Gardening is my greatest pleasure. In early spring I do hard physical labor removing last year's debris and last fall's mountains of leaves. I want to hurry before the first signs of life break ground (crocus, daffodils, tulips). Time to clean up leftover useless thoughts and feelings in my own soul.

Then I get to do whatever soil amending is needed, to give this renewed life the best chance of being really happy. Let's replace that old useless stuff with some life-giving thoughts ~~ like, how lovely the day is, how pregnant with new possibilities.

Finally, planting time arrives (more or less around Mother's Day. GO SHOPPING for annuals that will add instant color to the gardens, and for perennials that will be with us for years to come. Spend some time finding inspiration from the soul gardens of writers; books, online blogs, conversations about the value of living well.

Then: all summer long, during the prime growing season, dedicate myself to the daily chores of weeding, watering, feeding, deadheading, and loving the gardens. Be responsible for keeping my heart and soul cleared of impatience; take time to appreciate the way life unfolds at its own pace; count my blessings; bask in the warmth of friendships.

As fall arrives: begin removal of spent plants, keep the gardens looking neat, and don't cry as the gardens become less delicious. Accept the circle of life, go with the flow, have faith in life's need for rest, look forward to the rebirth that's coming.

In winter: think about new garden projects, make notes of what to repeat and what to try new, develop new ideas. Spend time sorting through thoughts and feelings, try new ideas on for size, take time to not think at all, and rest well.

WANNA BUY SOME FLOWERS?

My gardens are very important to me (OK, they're not "my" gardens, they belong to the campground where I work) and I'm very protective of them. I'm out there every day caretaking, keeping things happy and neat and as weed-free as I can. I feed and water, and yes, I do talk to the plants -- more fun than talking to myself, dontcha know.

So, yesterday evening I was doing some watering, and a young boy about 10 or so came up to me and said "hey lady, wanna buy some flowers?" For an instant my mind went blank. I'm surrounded by flowers, why should I buy more? Then the light went on, and I asked, "where did you get the flowers?" "Over there." He pointed to one of my gardens.

After my inner scream subsided, I took a deep breath and said, as kindly and gently as I could, "you know, these gardens are for our campers to look at and enjoy, but not to pick." Then he went blank for a second. I said, "so you won't pick any more will you?" "No, ma'am. I'm sorry I picked your flowers."

The boy's immediate (and correct) response softened my ire, and I had to smile. How nice to have an innocent, polite, and cooperative kid, picking or not. He showed me and the gardens that he respected us. I really like that because nowadays it's a bit hard to come by from youngsters who've just been turned loose in a campground. They're like little wild animals who've been caged in a small place, and here they are, set free in acreage, with so many places to go and explore; probably they don't realize that they're trampling on some precious plant or new seedling, and I know this is a risk that comes with the territory. It won't make me stop gardening, anyway. Sometimes you just gotta go with the flow.

When I told the story to some of the other staff here (who know how protective I am), they laughed to the point of tears. Now whenever they see me, they ask "hey lady, wanna buy some flowers?" Brings a smile to my face!

THE COUNTDOWN BEGINS

Here I am smack in the end of the middle of the gardening season, still focused on keeping all the gardens happy and blooming, and I realize that in less than six weeks I'll be storing up my travel trailer for the winter and joining one of my daughters in her brand new motorhome for a six-month trek through the Great Southwest, where neither of us has spent any quality time!

My routine ? A drastic change. I ADORE change! Once we hit the road, this blog will no doubt gravitate to a travelog of sorts: my role as gardener will fade to the background while me-as-wanderer will be taking center stage. I expect to uncover some fresh insights stimulated by things I've never seen before!

Stay tuned for SIX MONTHS OF THE SOUTHWEST, beginning mid-September! Be sure to check out our trip site at

http://web.me.com/sara.justbe/Our_Great_Adventure/Welcome.html

MAKING PEACE WITH NATURE

Ah this is not always so easy. Especially after several HARD rains, the kind where raindrops each weigh about five pounds and wash away roads. My proud stand of zinnias took a hard hit last week, so hard that many of the plants actually broke off at the base of the stalk.

I kind of felt like an undertaker as I took these broken plants away. Then I felt like a grave-robber as I cut whatever "fresh" blooms I could for a bouquet for the office. Then I just felt really sad when I took the remains up to our compost pile.

All these feelings were negative, and I don't live well with negative feelings, so it was time to put on my Regain Perspective Hat and sit and think:

• Heck, sh*t happens -- I'm not in Paradise yet
• Don't mess with Mother Nature
• At least the office has a really cheerful vase full of flowers
• Next time, stake the darn plants before this happens
• Time to roll with the punches, go with the flow
• Suck it up and move on

Moving on I am:

• I took a deep breath, gave thanks for all the plants that didn't get flattened (the Mexican Sunflowers are awesomely strong).
• I just planted a new batch of Cosmos and Hollyhocks. They WILL be staked.
• I'm going out to buy a new supply of stakes.